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| Summer's boredom + months of procrastination = a tribute to death note (the anime):
Lyrics (sans proper grammar/punctuation):
You see a stalker, sitting with his crossword out,
almost looking harmless, but without a doubt,
he’s at a park bench staring at these little kids, who
playing carefree, don’t know that they are amidst
a pedophile living right down the street
with two bags of candy stashed in his backseat
but he disguises himself as a man of peace
so he’s never been caught by the useless police
so he walks over to the nearest set of swings
to little Katie, playing with her dolls and rings
but he stumbles, falls down clutching his chest
heart rumbles, viciously, then stops at rest
and you’d never know that angels didn’t rig the odds
but just one man, a mortal with the power of gods
to strike down whomever that he deemed unfit
to exist in this realm, their lives he quit
and if you had it, the magic, to do the same
would you end a life by simply writing down a name
to pass judgment, a life-or-death moral review
without ever knowing what kind of shit they been through
cuz if you could, would the masses know and see your face
as a champion who makes the world a beautiful place?
or a murderer, striking down those in your way,
could you fall asleep, at peace, at the end of the day?
and he doesn’t stop short with the kiddy molesters
he hunts down evil anywhere that it festers
killers, stealers, abusers, and rapists,
cheaters, dealers, and violent racists.
He kills them all around the world, so people can listen
to the message of the reaper, no matter the distance,
Be pure of the heart, ‘cause if you make an error,
you will be the next victim in MY war on terror
Now there’s a whole world watching every move he makes
from every word that he speaks to every life that he takes
but there’s never been an argument like this before.
not since abortion, or the horseshit that started the war
One side says it’s finally about time
that these fuckers got justice for their heinous crimes
yet the other throws back their heads in rage
this killer should write his own damn name on the page
and if you had it, the magic, to do the same
would you end a life by simply writing down a name
to pass judgment, a life-or-death moral review
without ever knowing what kind of shit they been through
'cause if you could, would the masses know and see your face
as a champion who makes the world a beautiful place?
or a murderer, striking down those in your way,
would it even be worth it at the end of the day?
flash forward the years to utopia created
by power unrestrained, the haters eliminated
now this crime-free society the public applauds
as they watched the world fall, glory to the new god
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| if a piece of toast strapped to the back of a cat,
with the butter side up, and you kicked it flat
off a building you watch it spin around and around
will it land feet first, or butter side down?
playing around with meter and rhyme... and fruity loops.
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| ATTENTION! According to the latest scientific research, approximately 150,000,000 Americans are of below average intelligence. yes, that's millions. Statistically speaking, this means every other person you meet is likely to be pretty un-smart.
For those graduating soon, I caution you all to be weary of whom you trust in the real world, whether it be with your money... your property... or your children (except the bastard one who throws pennies at homeless people). Odds are, you could have dangerous encounters everyday with NASCAR fans, hippies, people named George, Canadians, or even... me.
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| Inspired by indexed
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| forget everything you've learned about gravity. if you took high school fzx with mr. sanders, you're off to a good start. flying has nothing to do with defying gravity. just ignore it. sir issac was trippin; force = mass * acceleration, my ass. the only force you need is that of the jedi, my friends.
the first step in flying is to jump. whether this is performed from ground or off a building is up to you. by jumping, you momentarily create a space between you and the object you just left (say, of height x). your expectations would have you believe that this space is only locally maximized with respect to time because of the preconceived notion that the air maintains a rigid structural density, particle for particle. as a matter of fact, the gaseous nature of air leaves it to be virtually infinitely malleable (represented by red circles in figure above), thus allowing the possibility of expansion to a temporarily less dense state (essentially gaining a height y*). however, since the air as a system of the environment will try to balance itself back to equilibrium, expansion of the space beneath you necessitates a simultaneous collapse of equivalent magnitude of the air above (step #2).
don't be discouraged if you fail the first couple of times; it's a precise art that requires disciplined practice. once this step is perfected, however, you should find yourself in a slightly elevated position (with respect to ground) in a spacially distorted frame of reference. the next step is to convert the gained height, y, to a "normal" frame of reference. this can be accomplished by guiding a precise amount of air particles from above you to below you allowing the system to return to a uniformly dense state (step #3). this is where aerodynamics kicks in; slimmer, straighter figures have the advantage with respect to verticle particle redistribution (and you thought the superman pose was just for aesthetics). you should now be have achieved a state of particle flux equilibrium at a height of x+y above the ground.
remember now that x was the height of your inital jump, and y originates from the expansion/collapse of air particles around you. it helps that you visualize these "blocks" of air as separate objects. the block directly beneath you of a height, x, will be referred to as the "x-object", and the remaining space as the "y-object". to achieve the effect of flying, you have to repeat the previous steps (from step #2), starting with expanding the x-object and ending with the creation of a new y-object. the effect of "gravity" will continuously elevate particles from x- and y-objects to their original occupation, bringing the system back to an inert state†.
horizontal gain is achieved by the same principles, but there is no need for a self-correcting force such as gravity, since the domain is infinite: expansion/collapse "above" in the horizontal plane is equivalent to its counterpart "below" (think of earth as a sphere).
of course, all of this is impossible without knowing how to manipulate particles in the first place. feel free to read up on it in my book, The Theory of Four-Dimensional Transport Phenomenon☺, only $699.99 and in stores now!
* the magnitude of y is proportional to your own particle manipulation abilities
† if you think of the environment as a computer program, the x-object
behaves like a temporarily allocated variable while the y-object is put
on a FILO stack. every iteration of the previous
steps "pushes" a y-object on the stack, while gravity continuously
"pulls" from it
☺related supplemental reading: How to Acheive Multiple Orgasms ($1349.99).
<edit>
damn. someone thought of this before me, but with slightly more practical applications.
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